The Most Terrifying Place in the World

Memphis has made some interesting moves over the last 15 months (or since the arrival of Chris Wallace if you prefer). From a trade for Juan Carlos Navarro, the draft night trade for O J Mayo and the well documented trade of Pau Gasol, the Grizzlies have been one of the more active teams in trades since Wallace's arrival.

However, the most intriguing moves by the Grizzlies may have been their free agent signings. First, the Grizzlies acquired Darko Milicic prior to his outburst in the FIBA Championships last season. Now they have signed Hamed Haddadi from Axis of Evil power Iran. Throw in Marc Gasol, another 7 ft physical player and you have remade the Grizzlies from a weak, thin interior to a big interior. The question becomes are tall and heavy enough?

Intimidation takes more than just size. You have to have a reason for people to feel intimidated being in your presence.

It is possible that the Grizzlies now could play two players from countries most famous for Slobadan Milocevic's war crimes and The Ayatollah Khomeni's supporters taking the US Embassy hostage and they could be playing at the same time!

Isn't that special. A foul mouthed, 7 ft PF/C countryman of one of the most genocidal leaders in the 21st century and a inexperienced 7-2 center who's leader is one of the USA's most vitriolic enemies. I wonder how many teams will tell their big men to try and get rough with these two big men under the basket? Would you want to scrape it up under the basket with an Iranian and a Serb?

This alone won't make the Grizzlies front line something that other teams fear on the basketball court...or will it? If anyone has seen Darko's explosion at the FIBA Championships they have to worry that Darko could be a bit unstable emotionally.

Now add in a huge Iranian next to him and it just might give some players a moments pause and at this level that moment could make a difference. Just being put between two true 7 ft players who aren't afraid to mess it up in the paint and aren't in control enough to prevent banging indiscriminately and you have the potential for someone getting hurt. Throw in 7 ft Marc Gasol, who already sent Chris Bosh flying across the floor during the Olympics and Memphis suddenly has a physical if questionably talented interior force.

Is it more important to be talented or physical? Bill Laimbeer never reached the All-Star game due to his skills with the basketball after all. San Antonio puts skill at the PF position with Tim Duncan, but hasn't hesitated to throw out Fabricio Oberto, Francisco Elson or Rasho Nesterovic in the middle with their elbows sticking out. They aren't much to look at, but they keep people away from the rebounds also.

So will the Memphis middle join the list of most dangerous places to venture alone in the world? Probably not but only time will tell for sure.



Now don't you wish you hadn't made fun of Josh's camel jokes?

Who's bringing the Krispy Kremes?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3567481

Ho-hum.

NO WAY!!!!!!!!!! YOU'VE GOT TO BE PULLIN' MY LEG!!!! Two NBA rookies ("according to sources") get in some trouble with a bit of sticky fineness? Gee, that's never happened.

Folks, we need to realize something. The list of NBA players who do not commit this particular indulgence may very well be shorter than the list of ones who do. I've no real evidence of that, but I gotta assume that Josh Howard and Rasheed and Damon (formerly, allegedly) and Brad Miller and Zach Randolph (BOY could the Grizzlies use him now!!) and Joakim Noah....and on and on...are not the only ones.

I do NOT condone or encourage what they were doing (and even more so WHERE they were doing it-dang, y'all, why not just go kick it down at the park like we used to do..I mean, no we didn't....). However, this indiscretion is non-violent (unless you happen to be that last Snickers in the resort's vending machine-then your opinon might vary on that one) and can only be considered minor in the grand scheme of things. Y'know, dude, "grand scheme" like that thing we were gonna do where we built a whole amusement park where they play Dark Side of the Moon on all the rides and there's a yellow brick road running through the whole place, and there were flying monkeys? What? You don't remember that?

What was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Basketball.

That's what I need these guys to do. Play basketball, and play it hard and to the best of ability and talent. What they do elsewise is not of my concern, unless they eat all the rest of the Cheez-its and don't call me and tell me I need to stop and get some more on the way home. Role model? Puh-leeze. We are influenced by the examples we see in the world-it's each person's job to know how to take the examples-either follow them or don't.

I do, however, plan to make some extra $ by droppin' a call to Crimestoppers when the Heat come to town ;).


EDIT: http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2008/sep/05/arthur-says-he-learned-lesson/

in this article, written by Ron Tillery, Arthur is quoted as saying firmly that he did not use and was not involved with marijuana. I believe him, and will be cheerin' my lungs out for him all season and for as long as he plays the Grizzlies. Tagging my blog on this subject as "satire" is an understatement of my humorous intent-again, in no way do I condone the breaking of the "no visitors" or the "none of that stuff in your room at a ROOKIE NBA CAMP, for Pete's sake" rule.

Big Trade Going Down

And the Grizzlies are a small part of it.

New Orleans is trading former Grizzlies player Bobby Jackson and Adam Haluska to Houston for former Grizzlies player Bonzi Wells and Mike James. Houston also has the option of switching 2nd rd picks. To make the deal work Memphis is taking Marcus Vinicius from New Orleans.

When was the last time ANYONE can remember that three teams from the same division did a trade together? Has it ever happened before? Even back when there were only 4 divisions I don't remember such a thing happening.

Seems like every time the Grizzlies are involved in trades it is something no one thought could happen before the deal was announced. A 5 team trade three years ago, Gasol for future considerations earlier this year and now a 3 team inter-division deal?

What's next? Memphis trades their entire roster with the Milwaukee Bucks just to see if anyone notices? Okay, I am being funny with the last one but it is strange to see three teams from the same division, two of whom are very hot and competing with each other right now, do a trade.

Anyway, Memphis is supposed to receive Marcus Vinicius from New Orleans and possibly the draft right to Senegalese Malick Badiane or a 2nd rd pick or some other unsigned player. It is all still very vague and may be a false rumor but everyone is reporting it so I have to assume it is true.

Vinicius is the interesting player. The Brazilian native is supposedly a great offensive player who doesn't play defense well and hasn't been able to crack the lineup in New Orleans so no one really knows much about him. So why is he interesting? Well how many Brazilians have you heard of that aren't interesting?

Maybe he can give some tips to Grizzline! A little Brazilian flair should be nice. Maybe the dance team can do a Brazilian number. I bet that would get some fans back in the stands.

The obvious gain here is a SG/SF player who can shoot from outside, supposedly, and run up and down the court in case Miller's back continues to give him troubles. He adds some size and can play the 3 behind Rudy as well. Who knows, maybe he turns out to be the lightning Chris Wallace is trying to catch in the bottle. If not he will just be a cloud passing through this dreary season as his contract expires at the end of the year.

From Ryan over at Hornets 24-7:

Vinicius hasn't played a lot as a Hornet - mostly in garbage time. When he's been on the floor he's shown good hustle, and a decent three point stroke on a somewhat slow jumpshot. The slowness of his shot isn't so bad though, because he shoots it almost behind his head, making it near impossible to block.

He's a bit thin, and his rebounding hasn't been that great, but he's shown a surprising dribble drive to his left once or twice that gets him to the basket. He's about an average finisher.

In the D-League last season he averaged about 15 a game, with 6 rebounds.

He's got a reputation as a malcontent, having been one of the leaders of a team revolt against the Brazil National Team Coach in last years tournament of the Americas, (It got REALLY ugly) but for the Hornets, the team loves him and Byron has always said good things about him.

My final evaluation - from the meaningful minutes he played for the Hornets, I'd rate his ceiling to be a 7th or 8th man on a good team. Of course, I would have said Brandon Bass would be a 9th man on a good team - and he's been a decent rotation player for Dallas.

Update: Chris Herrington has some thoughts on the trade on Beyond the Arc.

The Curse of the Spanish Cast

Fewer than 16 months ago the Memphis Grizzlies held their annual Kick-Off Luncheon at the FedEx Forum and as usual had a silent and live auction during the event. Players talked, the coaches talked and everyone had a very nice time. Even the food in the Forum was good. It was fun.

Until the live auction began.

Among the items up for bid were the Honorary Ball Boy on opening night, a trip with the Grizzlies to an away game (including flying on the team plane, hotel stay in the team hotel and tickets to the game), a chance to have Grizz visit your child's class and one odd item.

The team was going to auction off Gasol's cast from his broken foot he suffered while playing for Spain, not the Grizzlies mind you but Spain.

Who would want to buy a cast from a 7 ft man that had been wearing it during September and October in Spain? It wasn't decorated with Grizzlies stickers, it wasn't colored in Beale St Blue and while autographed by the big man himself it wasn't exactly something you would hang on the wall in your den. The team was coming off three successive playoff appearances and had won 49 games the year before and had made a big time trade to acquire Rudy Gay and Stromile Swift for Shane Battier but who would want to put a stinky cast from someone Else's foot on display?

What was even more incredible was that the cast sold for more than the Honorary Ball Boy! $200 more in fact!!! I can't imagine the thought process there. A lifetime memory for your son or a $700 piece of plaster that wasn't art and really can't even be put on display.

So it began.

Since that moment the Grizzlies have been a failure. They lost in triple OT to the Knicks to open the season. They won the fewest games since the team moved to Memphis. Over nearly a season and a half the team has gone from playoff contenders to one of the worst teams in the league. No playoffs, not big crowds and no fun. If that isn't a curse I don't know what is.

Things become cursed in innocent ways. A man brings a farm animal to a baseball game in Chicago, an owner traded a player to raise cash to produce a play for his girlfriend in Boston, even sports magazine covers can be cursed.

Holding on to the image of something broken has apparently cursed the Grizzlies. I don't remember the team auctioning off Big Country's back brace or the infected toe nail of JWill after all.

There are ways to determine if something or someone is cursed. Renaissanceastrology.com lays it out in simple and easy words:

If the Lord of the twelfth be in the sixth, or the Lord of the sixth in the twelfth, or the Lord of the ascendant in the twelfth, or the Lord of the twelfth in the ascendant, or the Lord of the eighth in the ascendant, or the Lord of the ascendant in the eighth, in a Question where suspition of Witchcraft is, it is probable; otherwise not so: But the Judgment succeeding I have found more certaine.

Okay. Maybe it isn't so easy to actually determine.

The question now becomes how do we break the curse?

It is rather vague in how to remove curses. Would hiring a voodoo doctor work? Probably not since there are limits to the ways a curse can be removed and I imagine possessing the cursed item is on the list. The cast is held in private hands. I doubt anyone remembers who actually owns the cast now at the Grizzlies front office. IF they did know would they have to buy it back from the owner? The team isn't really free spending with their money these days. I mean they gave Bobby Jones jersey #6 which was previously owned by Eddie Jones after all. Globalpsychics.com takes the stated position that not only can curses not be removed but paying money for such services would only make them worse!

So let's rule out the Grizzlies spending any money in this matter.

What makes matters more complicated is that removing a curse often involves sending the curse back on the person who started it. Who is that anyway? Was it the Boys and Girls Club of Memphis who sponsored the auction and received the proceeds? I doubt that anyone would support cursing that organization just to end the Grizzlies losing ways. But what if someone else was to blame? Do we blame Gasol for not getting rid of the cast in the first place? Do we want to risk cursing him now that he is play some of the best basketball of his career?

I know someone will suggest we trade Gasol for whatever we can get and then remove the curse and I can't deny that hasn't crossed my mind but what if it doesn't work? Remember that it is the belief of globalphysics.com that you can't remove curses at all. The Sports Illustrated Cover Curse is still going strong, the Chicago Cubs have yet to figure out how to win a world series but Boston did overcome the Curse of the Bambino after 86 years.

What did Boston do? According to Wikipedia Boston tried just about everything. They hired exorcists, Father Quido Sarducci and even found a piano Babe reportedly pushed into a lake. Wikipedia went on to say:

Some declared the curse broken when, on August 31, 2004 a foul ball hit by Manny Ramirez flew into Section 9, Box 95, Row AA and struck a boy's face, knocking two of his teeth out.[2] 16-year-old Lee Gavin, a Boston fan whose favorite player was and remains Ramirez, lives on the Sudbury farm owned by Ruth. That same day, the Yankees suffered their worst loss in team history, a 22-0 clobbering at home against the Cleveland Indians.

So who is willing to buy Gasol's house and subject their son to a facial by Rudy Gay to break the curse?
If anyone has any other suggestions on how to break this curse just leave them in the comments.

New Year's Resolutions

As we all know, this is the time of year for people to make resolutions. Of course, when that word is used, it typically conjures up the image of someone wanting to lose 15 pounds, quit smoking or accomplish one of those lifelong goals, only to give up on it two weeks into January. What does "resolution" really mean though? According to Webster's it is defined as "the act or process of resolving". So what does "resolve" mean? It is defined as "to reach a firm decision about". In other words, it isn't something that should be taken lightly or easily forgotten about.

So with that said, here are what I think the New Year's Resolutions for the Memphis Grizzlies should be and actually will be.

Marc Iavaroni
What his resolution should be: Complete his 50-game evaluation of the roster, establish a firm 8-man rotation, set his offensive and defensive schemes in place by drilling them into the players' heads mercilessly and set aside an hour a day to work with Darko and Pau since he is a well-respected big man coach.
What his resolution will be: Get people to stop calling him Noodle-roni when he's not around.

Stromile Swift
What his resolution should be: To play well enough to garner significant playing time so that he can opt out of his contract at the end of the summer and earn one more "big" payday before doing the "year-to-year veteran contract" dance for the remainder of his career.
What his resolution will be: To find out why his twin brother doesn't work at the Forum mopping up the floor anymore and decide if he has "enough lift" to play before every game.

Damon Stoudamire
What his resolution should be: To mentor Conley and Lowry until his eventual trade while continuing to attempt to light a fire under his teammates for their lackluster play and apathetic approach to the game.
What his resolution will be: To get Chris Wallace to trade him to a contender and include bus fare, so that he can avoid those pesky airport metal detectors.

Andre Brown
What his resolution should be: To work hard in practice and retain his "happy to be here" approach to being an NBA player, while working on his free throws.
What his resolution will be: To stay away from Darko as much as possible -- he eats babies, after all.

Casey Jacobsen
What his resolution should be: To maintain his position as the team's best blogger and work on regaining his shooting touch.
What his resolution will be: To continue to do as many pregame interviews with Rob Fischer as humanly possible in preparation for his future career as a broadcaster.

Kyle Lowry
What his resolution should be: To maintain his aggressiveness without committing bad fouls and turnovers, towork on his outside shooting and to recall what a "kickout pass" is.
What his resolution will be: To see if the NBA will allow him to don shoulder pads while playing so that he can drive to the basket more effectively.

Jeremy Richardson
What his resolution should be: To do something to impress the coaching staff in practice, in the hopes that it will earn him some playing time in a meaningful situation and make everyone forget who Tarence Kinsey was.
What his resolution will be: To hide all the team issued headbands before gametime so that he's the only one wearing one.

Tony Barone
What his resolution should be: To scout and evaluate the top international talent that could be acquired for a 2nd round pick that Chris Wallace will acquire at some point this season.
What his resolution will be: To make everyone forget that he was the head coach of this team most of last year.

Hakim Warrick
What his resolution should be: To work on improving his ball-handling and defense, while honing his low-post moves and mid-range jumper.
What his resolution will be: To continue to be a black hole on offense, because scoring is what breaks the bank come contract time.

Brian Cardinal
What his resolution should be: To mentor the younger players and be a positive influence in the locker room and in practice.
What his resolution will be: To buy a few more suits, so that he doesn't wear any of them out as he spends the season on the Inactive List.

Juan Carlos Navarro
What his resolution should be: To continue being a dynamic playmaker and big shot taker while reading the rulebook to get a handle on this whole "palming/carrying" thing.
What his resolution will be: To learn the English words for "mid-level exception" and "put me in Coach...I'll make it".

Darko Milicic
What his resolution should be: To regain full use of his left hand (which isn't in great shape), learn how to use his right hand effectively and to force Iavaroni to work with him as much as possible on low-post moves.
What his resolution will be: To send those Italian referees a fruit basket and a Grizzlies T-shirt.

Michael Conley
What his resolution should be: To let the game come to him, rather than forcing things and to heed what the coaches and veteran players teach him.
What his resolution will be: To establish a 180 bowling average with each hand.

Mike Miller
What his resolution should be: To SHOOT THE BALL early and often after requesting that the coaching staff move him back to his successful 6th man role.
What his resolution will be: To find some new hairbands and to stop swallowing pieces of his mouth guard.

Rudy Gay
What his resolution should be: To develop some low-post moves while honing his ball-handling and mid-range game.
What his resolution will be: To dunk on Yao Ming and Dikembe Mutombo.....at the same time.

Pau Gasol
What his resolution should be: To stop talking to the media on both continents....forever, to get healthy and to quit emulating Tim Duncan's whining technique while copying everything else Timmy does.
What his resolution will be: To stop people from calling him "Paul".

Chris Wallace
What his resolution should be: To trade away the players who don't fit the future plans of the team ASAP after the 50-game evaluation period, to acquire some more draft picks, even if they are 2nd rounders and to continue to be the personable nice guy that we've seen so far.
What his resolution will be: To see if he can sneak into Boston's victory parade after they beat the Spurs for the title in June.