The Most Terrifying Place in the World

Memphis has made some interesting moves over the last 15 months (or since the arrival of Chris Wallace if you prefer). From a trade for Juan Carlos Navarro, the draft night trade for O J Mayo and the well documented trade of Pau Gasol, the Grizzlies have been one of the more active teams in trades since Wallace's arrival.

However, the most intriguing moves by the Grizzlies may have been their free agent signings. First, the Grizzlies acquired Darko Milicic prior to his outburst in the FIBA Championships last season. Now they have signed Hamed Haddadi from Axis of Evil power Iran. Throw in Marc Gasol, another 7 ft physical player and you have remade the Grizzlies from a weak, thin interior to a big interior. The question becomes are tall and heavy enough?

Intimidation takes more than just size. You have to have a reason for people to feel intimidated being in your presence.

It is possible that the Grizzlies now could play two players from countries most famous for Slobadan Milocevic's war crimes and The Ayatollah Khomeni's supporters taking the US Embassy hostage and they could be playing at the same time!

Isn't that special. A foul mouthed, 7 ft PF/C countryman of one of the most genocidal leaders in the 21st century and a inexperienced 7-2 center who's leader is one of the USA's most vitriolic enemies. I wonder how many teams will tell their big men to try and get rough with these two big men under the basket? Would you want to scrape it up under the basket with an Iranian and a Serb?

This alone won't make the Grizzlies front line something that other teams fear on the basketball court...or will it? If anyone has seen Darko's explosion at the FIBA Championships they have to worry that Darko could be a bit unstable emotionally.

Now add in a huge Iranian next to him and it just might give some players a moments pause and at this level that moment could make a difference. Just being put between two true 7 ft players who aren't afraid to mess it up in the paint and aren't in control enough to prevent banging indiscriminately and you have the potential for someone getting hurt. Throw in 7 ft Marc Gasol, who already sent Chris Bosh flying across the floor during the Olympics and Memphis suddenly has a physical if questionably talented interior force.

Is it more important to be talented or physical? Bill Laimbeer never reached the All-Star game due to his skills with the basketball after all. San Antonio puts skill at the PF position with Tim Duncan, but hasn't hesitated to throw out Fabricio Oberto, Francisco Elson or Rasho Nesterovic in the middle with their elbows sticking out. They aren't much to look at, but they keep people away from the rebounds also.

So will the Memphis middle join the list of most dangerous places to venture alone in the world? Probably not but only time will tell for sure.



Now don't you wish you hadn't made fun of Josh's camel jokes?

Boston Can't Lose This Game

Boston has three players destined for the NBA Hall of Fame in Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce. Memphis has no one that looks to attain these lofty honors. There is no way that Boston can lose.

Boston has the best record in the NBA this season. Memphis has the 3rd worst record in the NBA and seem intent on catching the two teams behind them. There doesn't seem to be any way that Boston can lose.

Boston is 10th in the league in scoring but known for their defense which is allowing the 2nd fewest points per game in the league this season. Memphis is the 12th best scoring team abd the 2nd worst defensive team giving up over 105 ppg. Boston can't lose this game.

Boston holds teams to an NBA low 42.2% shooting percentage and is 4th best in the league hitting 47.4% of their own shots. Memphis is the worst team in the league allowing teams to shoot 47.9% from the field while only 16th in the league in FG percentage at 45.4% on the season. In case you missed that if Boston just has an average game shooting the ball it will improve our defensive FG% rating! There is no way Boston can lose.

Boston drafted a player known as 'Big Baby' in Glen Davis this summer. Memphis traded for a player known as the 'Big Disappointment' in Kwame Brown. There is no way Boston can lose this game.

Boston is 6th in the league in rebounding differential grabbing 1.95 more boards a game than their opponents. Memphis is 26th in the league giving up 2.85 more rebounds to their opponents than Memphis grabs. There is no way Boston can lose this game.

Boston is 6th in the league in winning percentage when they score 100+ points. Memphis is 28th in the same statistic. Speaking of statistics, PowerGrizz, the resident statologist of the Memphis Grizzlies message board, has Boston with a predicted to win the game 0.638821 to 0.361179. There is no way Boston can lose this game.

Memphis just won their first game since February 10th. That was a string of 8 straight losses. Boston hasn't lost since February 22nd and have lost only 12 games all season. Boston is currently on a 6 game winning streak. Memphis hasn't won back to back games since November 27th. There is no way Boston can lose this game.

The Boston Celtics were able to recruit dancers from all over the country and had a TV special on NBA-TV about the selection of their dance team. Not just one episode either. A series on the selection of dancers was aired on NBA-TV. Even the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition doesn't get a series on the girls. Memphis just lost one of their dancers so she could move to Pennsylvania. What's worse is that she isn't even from Pennsylvania! Apparently the option to be banished to a gulag in Siberia was already taken by a former press agent for the Grizzlies. She's not the first dancer to leave the squad this year either. The roster included 18 girls after tryouts, had 16 girls in November and rarely are there more than 12 on any given night these days. I guess it is just as hard to dance for the Grizzlies as cheer for them this season.

I know this is getting redundant but there is now way Boston can lose this game. I mean no way on Saturday, no way in March, no way this season and no way in any one's imagination! There is no way Memphis can win this game.

Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen have been to a combined 19 all-star games. 19 is also how old Javaris Crittenton is. No one on the Grizzlies roster has been to a single all-star game. Well Juan Carlos Navarro did announce the all-star game for a Spanish Network but that isn't the same thing. There is no way that Boston can lose this game.

Which is why I think the Grizzlies can't lose this game. There is absolutely no reason the Grizzlies should even be competitive and every reason to believe the Celtics should win easily. When the stars are that much in alignment bet against the obvious. Strange things happen when teams with no chance play teams that can't lose. Remember the Super Bowl this year? Take the points (there should be a lot to take) and watch the kids beat the all-stars on Saturday night in front of a packed house at FedEx Forum.

And If that isn't reason enough I will be out of town and won't be able to see the game. That is the most consistent indicator of a Grizzlies victory I know!

Mini Links (Small, but packed with goodness)

Normally, I'd save links like these for another day or two until I had enough to warrant a "Links" post. But these two are too good not to put up immediately.

The Association: The Grizzlies are the NBA's "Slump Buster". They have taken note of the fact that due to a scheduling quirk, the Grizzlies continue to play teams that have either made a big trade recently or are in desperate need of a win to stem the tide of losing. A quick excerpt:

The NBA's real Washington Generals, the NBA's beer goggles, the NBA's Vicodin, the NBA's liquid courage, the NBA's Dr. Feelgood, the NBA's HGH (but only to recover from injuries and not to throw fastballs at age 45)...

The Score: Let's do Vancouver again. What would it look like if the Grizzlies had never left their original location? Jeff Wong is willing to take a look at that re-written history and see what could have been...including a different mascot.

Blog of the Day: The Melo Backpedal

New Year's Resolutions

As we all know, this is the time of year for people to make resolutions. Of course, when that word is used, it typically conjures up the image of someone wanting to lose 15 pounds, quit smoking or accomplish one of those lifelong goals, only to give up on it two weeks into January. What does "resolution" really mean though? According to Webster's it is defined as "the act or process of resolving". So what does "resolve" mean? It is defined as "to reach a firm decision about". In other words, it isn't something that should be taken lightly or easily forgotten about.

So with that said, here are what I think the New Year's Resolutions for the Memphis Grizzlies should be and actually will be.

Marc Iavaroni
What his resolution should be: Complete his 50-game evaluation of the roster, establish a firm 8-man rotation, set his offensive and defensive schemes in place by drilling them into the players' heads mercilessly and set aside an hour a day to work with Darko and Pau since he is a well-respected big man coach.
What his resolution will be: Get people to stop calling him Noodle-roni when he's not around.

Stromile Swift
What his resolution should be: To play well enough to garner significant playing time so that he can opt out of his contract at the end of the summer and earn one more "big" payday before doing the "year-to-year veteran contract" dance for the remainder of his career.
What his resolution will be: To find out why his twin brother doesn't work at the Forum mopping up the floor anymore and decide if he has "enough lift" to play before every game.

Damon Stoudamire
What his resolution should be: To mentor Conley and Lowry until his eventual trade while continuing to attempt to light a fire under his teammates for their lackluster play and apathetic approach to the game.
What his resolution will be: To get Chris Wallace to trade him to a contender and include bus fare, so that he can avoid those pesky airport metal detectors.

Andre Brown
What his resolution should be: To work hard in practice and retain his "happy to be here" approach to being an NBA player, while working on his free throws.
What his resolution will be: To stay away from Darko as much as possible -- he eats babies, after all.

Casey Jacobsen
What his resolution should be: To maintain his position as the team's best blogger and work on regaining his shooting touch.
What his resolution will be: To continue to do as many pregame interviews with Rob Fischer as humanly possible in preparation for his future career as a broadcaster.

Kyle Lowry
What his resolution should be: To maintain his aggressiveness without committing bad fouls and turnovers, towork on his outside shooting and to recall what a "kickout pass" is.
What his resolution will be: To see if the NBA will allow him to don shoulder pads while playing so that he can drive to the basket more effectively.

Jeremy Richardson
What his resolution should be: To do something to impress the coaching staff in practice, in the hopes that it will earn him some playing time in a meaningful situation and make everyone forget who Tarence Kinsey was.
What his resolution will be: To hide all the team issued headbands before gametime so that he's the only one wearing one.

Tony Barone
What his resolution should be: To scout and evaluate the top international talent that could be acquired for a 2nd round pick that Chris Wallace will acquire at some point this season.
What his resolution will be: To make everyone forget that he was the head coach of this team most of last year.

Hakim Warrick
What his resolution should be: To work on improving his ball-handling and defense, while honing his low-post moves and mid-range jumper.
What his resolution will be: To continue to be a black hole on offense, because scoring is what breaks the bank come contract time.

Brian Cardinal
What his resolution should be: To mentor the younger players and be a positive influence in the locker room and in practice.
What his resolution will be: To buy a few more suits, so that he doesn't wear any of them out as he spends the season on the Inactive List.

Juan Carlos Navarro
What his resolution should be: To continue being a dynamic playmaker and big shot taker while reading the rulebook to get a handle on this whole "palming/carrying" thing.
What his resolution will be: To learn the English words for "mid-level exception" and "put me in Coach...I'll make it".

Darko Milicic
What his resolution should be: To regain full use of his left hand (which isn't in great shape), learn how to use his right hand effectively and to force Iavaroni to work with him as much as possible on low-post moves.
What his resolution will be: To send those Italian referees a fruit basket and a Grizzlies T-shirt.

Michael Conley
What his resolution should be: To let the game come to him, rather than forcing things and to heed what the coaches and veteran players teach him.
What his resolution will be: To establish a 180 bowling average with each hand.

Mike Miller
What his resolution should be: To SHOOT THE BALL early and often after requesting that the coaching staff move him back to his successful 6th man role.
What his resolution will be: To find some new hairbands and to stop swallowing pieces of his mouth guard.

Rudy Gay
What his resolution should be: To develop some low-post moves while honing his ball-handling and mid-range game.
What his resolution will be: To dunk on Yao Ming and Dikembe Mutombo.....at the same time.

Pau Gasol
What his resolution should be: To stop talking to the media on both continents....forever, to get healthy and to quit emulating Tim Duncan's whining technique while copying everything else Timmy does.
What his resolution will be: To stop people from calling him "Paul".

Chris Wallace
What his resolution should be: To trade away the players who don't fit the future plans of the team ASAP after the 50-game evaluation period, to acquire some more draft picks, even if they are 2nd rounders and to continue to be the personable nice guy that we've seen so far.
What his resolution will be: To see if he can sneak into Boston's victory parade after they beat the Spurs for the title in June.