This is a repost of an older post. We are still looking for a winner of the contest.
A close friend sent me an email today talking about how Gasol must have escaped the curse by moving to LA. It got me thinking. Does it only take a change of address to end a curse or is there something more to it?
The Boston Red Sox were jinxed by a trade and it took tearing down a house to break it. Not exactly a change of venue but a move of some sort just the same.
The Grizzlies has been cursed by a lottery machine. No matter how many times the franchise gets into the lottery it never seems to win or even get a fair shake for that matter. Sometimes the machine has just been cruel. Perhaps the Grizzlies need to move the lottery someplace else.
Everyone remember 2003 when a man named LeBron James was in the draft? Memphis could only keep their pick if they won the top lottery spot. Memphis made the first cut to be in the final three positions. They made the 2nd cut to have a 50/50 chance at the top spot. It was so exciting! It was the epitome of going for broke. It was all or nothing for the greatest player out of high school possibly in NBA history.
Memphis got nothing.
Last season was a similar situation. Memphis was guaranteed a top 4 pick in the draft. There were three players Memphis wanted: Greg Oden - the best center prospect since Yao Ming and possibly the best center since Shaquille O'Neal, Greg Oden - a SF who rewrote the Freshman scoring records in the NCAA and Al Horford - a rebounding big man who had led Florida to back to back national championships. The excitement was everywhere. The Grizzlies handed out Styrofoam ping pong balls to put on car antennas, people had watch parties all over the city. It was really exciting.
Lottery night people sat in disbelief when Memphis got the 4th pick in the draft. Sure they got Mike Conley and he is a promising young point guard but he wasn't what the Grizzlies exactly hoped for either.
This isn't a Memphis phenomena however. How about in 1999 when Vancouver had a chance at Elton Brand but ended up with the second pick. Sure they picked a player who went on to play in the All-Star game 3 times. He just never did it in a Grizzlies uniform.
So once again the Grizzlies and Memphis are gearing up for the lottery. Once again the team has an opportunity to get a franchise changing player. Two chances at a franchise changing player actually if you consider that either Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley could be wearing Beale St Blue next season.
But before that happens we have to break the Curse.
Now Memphis already got rid of the curse of the cast when they traded Pau Gasol to LA for 'future considerations.' We already saw what that did for his career. One can only imagine what the 19 yr old Javaris Crittenton, the $9 million in cap space from Kwame's contract and the two #1 picks from the Lakers will result in but whatever happens it won't be because the Grizzlies auctioned off Pau's stinky cast.
So short of moving the franchise what do the Grizzlies need to do? There is a website that I found to help us. It gave these instructions:
Step 1:So step 1 is to stop believing in the curse. Sounds simple enough until you realize this is Memphis. This is the city that runs into UCLA every time we have a great team on the way to the college basketball national championship. When we finally beat UCLA along comes Kansas and ...I still can't talk about it. This is the city that's motto should be 'nothing will ever work out right for us.' How do you convince everyone to just stop believing in a curse?
Lose faith in the ability of the curse to cause harm. Curses work on your imagination since no one genuinely has the ability to place one. Curses only work when you believe in them. Stop believing the curse can affect your life and it loses power over you.
Learn about the magic of the person who placed the curse. Superstitious practices evoke curses in different ways. To defeat the curse you must find out how it works and gain its powers. Practicing witches and sorcerers may be able to help you break the power of the curse.
Locate the source of the curse. Find the object that was used to place the curse.
Buy protection from the curse or a curse breaker. Powerful amulets may offer protection against the curse while you are wearing them. Magic potions and herbs could lift the curse when used correctly. You want a source of strong white magic to counteract the dark magic of the curse. Beware of scam artists who will charge you lift the curse. Never pay anyone a large sum to remove the curse.
Step 2 at least was easy in that we know who is cursing us. Stu Jackson is the root of all that is wrong with the Grizzlies. I don't know what kind of magic he has but the only thing more incredible than Stu Jackson taking his resume with the Grizzlies to one of the most influential positions in the NBA's headquarters has been Isiah Thomas' ability to hold onto his job in NY. We are talking about some serious power here.
Step 3 is easy too. We know where the curse is located. In that damn lottery machine that keeps ripping out the hearts of Grizz fans all over North America.
Step 4 is why I am writing this blog. I need the readers to help us out. Find some good white magic amulets and potions. And no it isn't the two-fisted types. Memphis fans (like PMI) has tried those for years with no success.
Which brings us to step 5, my personal favorite:
Curse the curser.
Like I haven't been cursing Stu Jackson's name enough over the last 8 years. The problem is I don't know how to curse someone properly. Apparently using their name in vain isn't what they mean here.
The article has information on how to do this as well. To curse someone take an object connected to the curser and place a curse on it. Ask a witch doctor or some other person who practices curses to place a counter curse. Finally, tell the person who cursed you, and it cancels the curse he or she placed on you.
So does anyone have something owned by Stu Jackson? His scalp would be great but other things may work as well. Does anyone know a witch doctor or even a witch nurse?
And does anyone have Stu Jackson's email address???
What we need something or someone who is knowledgeable about magic to break the curse. We are open to suggestions. In fact we are willing to have a contest. Come up with the best idea on how to break the curse and you will win a Rudy Gay jersey from 3 Shades of Blue. Leave any thoughts in the comments area of the post. No idea is too strange. No potion too alcoholic. We are ready to believe in you!
In the interest of fair and open disclosure our attorneys have recommended we attach this warning.
Even though a curse can be carried out by anyone, a curse from an individual trained in dark magic is stronger.