Fewer than 16 months ago the Memphis Grizzlies held their annual Kick-Off Luncheon at the FedEx Forum and as usual had a silent and live auction during the event. Players talked, the coaches talked and everyone had a very nice time. Even the food in the Forum was good. It was fun.
Until the live auction began.
Among the items up for bid were the Honorary Ball Boy on opening night, a trip with the Grizzlies to an away game (including flying on the team plane, hotel stay in the team hotel and tickets to the game), a chance to have Grizz visit your child's class and one odd item.
The team was going to auction off Gasol's cast from his broken foot he suffered while playing for Spain, not the Grizzlies mind you but Spain.
Who would want to buy a cast from a 7 ft man that had been wearing it during September and October in Spain? It wasn't decorated with Grizzlies stickers, it wasn't colored in Beale St Blue and while autographed by the big man himself it wasn't exactly something you would hang on the wall in your den. The team was coming off three successive playoff appearances and had won 49 games the year before and had made a big time trade to acquire Rudy Gay and Stromile Swift for Shane Battier but who would want to put a stinky cast from someone Else's foot on display?
What was even more incredible was that the cast sold for more than the Honorary Ball Boy! $200 more in fact!!! I can't imagine the thought process there. A lifetime memory for your son or a $700 piece of plaster that wasn't art and really can't even be put on display.
So it began.
Since that moment the Grizzlies have been a failure. They lost in triple OT to the Knicks to open the season. They won the fewest games since the team moved to Memphis. Over nearly a season and a half the team has gone from playoff contenders to one of the worst teams in the league. No playoffs, not big crowds and no fun. If that isn't a curse I don't know what is.
Things become cursed in innocent ways. A man brings a farm animal to a baseball game in Chicago, an owner traded a player to raise cash to produce a play for his girlfriend in Boston, even sports magazine covers can be cursed.
Holding on to the image of something broken has apparently cursed the Grizzlies. I don't remember the team auctioning off Big Country's back brace or the infected toe nail of JWill after all.
There are ways to determine if something or someone is cursed. Renaissanceastrology.com lays it out in simple and easy words:
If the Lord of the twelfth be in the sixth, or the Lord of the sixth in the twelfth, or the Lord of the ascendant in the twelfth, or the Lord of the twelfth in the ascendant, or the Lord of the eighth in the ascendant, or the Lord of the ascendant in the eighth, in a Question where suspition of Witchcraft is, it is probable; otherwise not so: But the Judgment succeeding I have found more certaine.Okay. Maybe it isn't so easy to actually determine.
The question now becomes how do we break the curse?
It is rather vague in how to remove curses. Would hiring a voodoo doctor work? Probably not since there are limits to the ways a curse can be removed and I imagine possessing the cursed item is on the list. The cast is held in private hands. I doubt anyone remembers who actually owns the cast now at the Grizzlies front office. IF they did know would they have to buy it back from the owner? The team isn't really free spending with their money these days. I mean they gave Bobby Jones jersey #6 which was previously owned by Eddie Jones after all. Globalpsychics.com takes the stated position that not only can curses not be removed but paying money for such services would only make them worse!
So let's rule out the Grizzlies spending any money in this matter.
What makes matters more complicated is that removing a curse often involves sending the curse back on the person who started it. Who is that anyway? Was it the Boys and Girls Club of Memphis who sponsored the auction and received the proceeds? I doubt that anyone would support cursing that organization just to end the Grizzlies losing ways. But what if someone else was to blame? Do we blame Gasol for not getting rid of the cast in the first place? Do we want to risk cursing him now that he is play some of the best basketball of his career?
I know someone will suggest we trade Gasol for whatever we can get and then remove the curse and I can't deny that hasn't crossed my mind but what if it doesn't work? Remember that it is the belief of globalphysics.com that you can't remove curses at all. The Sports Illustrated Cover Curse is still going strong, the Chicago Cubs have yet to figure out how to win a world series but Boston did overcome the Curse of the Bambino after 86 years.
What did Boston do? According to Wikipedia Boston tried just about everything. They hired exorcists, Father Quido Sarducci and even found a piano Babe reportedly pushed into a lake. Wikipedia went on to say:
Some declared the curse broken when, on August 31, 2004 a foul ball hit by Manny Ramirez flew into Section 9, Box 95, Row AA and struck a boy's face, knocking two of his teeth out. 16-year-old Lee Gavin, a Boston fan whose favorite player was and remains Ramirez, lives on the Sudbury farm owned by Ruth. That same day, the Yankees suffered their worst loss in team history, a 22-0 clobbering at home against the Cleveland Indians.
So who is willing to buy Gasol's house and subject their son to a facial by Rudy Gay to break the curse?
If anyone has any other suggestions on how to break this curse just leave them in the comments.